Persevering

"Problems are not stop signs, they are guidelines." ~Robert Schuller
I stalled. I could not get myself to write for the last 2 weeks. Or so. I wanted to say something honestly —about what I was going through. But I was too afraid to be so honest. Afraid it won't help.

I've been thinking, how our pursuits of "things" can lead us to lousy situations at times, if we're not careful. What we fear most happens. Like despair. Or failure.

Four months ago, I took a different route. Different because it was not my usual ways. I worked hard at self-discipline. Savings. Exercise. Optimism. It worked as long as I focused on it. And then. Just when things were starting to get pink and roses, I wandered. For reasons I thought were "reasons". Still, I wandered. I lost sight of my goals. I stumbled. I got wounded. I bled.

And when you're in such a lousy situation, it's pointless to blame the pebbles, or road blocks, or the weather, or the darkness that made you stumble. You have to pick yourself back up. Not lie there wasted. You can either look at your lousy situation as an opportunity or a threat.

I made my choice. I chose to look at "it" as an opportunity.

I know, I suck at motivation sometimes. But I persevere. I found that's what really works. When you do something or anything with your heart in it, you can get hurt. But you can't stop there. You have to keep pushing past the hurt. Because that's what gives life meaning. Pain shouldn't be a threat. It changes things. Change is hard to come by if you just sit on it.

If I had chosen the latter, see my stumbles as threats, I would sulk. Sulking can never change my situation. I would blame anything but myself. It doesn't help at all. I would just stagnate.

I don't want that. I refuse to put the blame on anything or anyone but my own choices. So, I'm glad to be back up on the road once more —with callous feet and stronger knees.

Here's the thing, I never gave up, I just changed gears.

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