Stirred

We all follow certain paths … that is, though most of us unconsciously allow familial and societal expectations (even judgments) and conditioning to force us to lead predictable, dictated lives.

And that, exactly, is the kind of life I'm turning away from. Because it's limiting, it boxes one in.

It all started with a disgruntled reflection on my own life as a sort of desperate resolution in which I'm trying to make something coherent of my own conflicting ideals and aspirations. I desperately needed to find that elusive sense of purpose; that one thing I can strive for. Then, I'd find a better perspective … to redefine my life path. Or perhaps, eventually, help someone else.

You see, it's foolish to play by a new set of rules with an outdated game-plan. Because our lives not only take new directions with each turning point, the value framework we use to compose a sense of self also changes—family, love, commitment—so do our way of life.

Yes, sometimes, I'd fall back into procrastination, or indifference when life gets too hot to handle. I admit. And it's not that I'd give up quite easily, I just falter. Or foolish pride sets in. But, brokenness often represents progress rather than failure.

When this happens, as it often will to all of us, it helps to refocus on these goals:

• To look at problems and difficulties in terms of the creative opportunities they present.
• To define achievement not as a purpose but rather something that's crafted from odds and ends, like a patchwork quilt, and lovingly used to warm different nights and bodies.
• To accept the things you cannot change and change the things you can.
• To subordinate your feelings to your values. (Stephen Covey, The 7 Habits)
• To stop selling yourself short. You're better than you make yourself out to be.

And I'd like to play it up metaphorically (like my favorite cappuccino), "To make a delicious blend of all the bitter, sweet, spicy ingredients life throws your way, just keep stirring."

As for me, I refuse to live life in a drab. I choose to be... stirred. How about you?

"People often say that this or that person has not yet found himself. But the self is not something one finds, it is something one creates." ~Thomas Szasz