Finding forgiveness, losing faith ~Part 3

"He does not believe who does not live according to his belief." ~Thomas Fuller
It's been a while. I'd like to think I've figured it all out by now. But it's quite the opposite.

Perhaps it's my disdain of religion. Wait. No, don't get me wrong. I never denied the existence of God, on the contrary, I firmly believe there's more evidence to consider about the essence of Him who gave me life than any argument from even the most intellectual atheists.

Truth be told, it's because of this conviction —stronger than my own will and deepest passions— that I struggle.

A battle between living in faith or by mere reasons. I lose the latter everyday. And gladly so.

Still, what's with religion that I despise so much? It's where religion dictates what it wants us to think, or feel, or say. That's what I'm rebelling against... deep within. I fear how religion and its rituals are making us into puppet-like disciples —with manipulated notions about ourselves.

For what's piety on the outside, corruption in the inside? Hypocrisy. It's when people behave a certain way, talk a certain way, or even dress a certain way within the confines of religion, or church. I'm frightened of how we've been trained to automatically switch from one "self" to another just to fit in, to belong a certain way, on certain "church" days. To be acceptable.

Really, between what religion makes us believe and what it actually makes of us, things just don't add up... no matter. I'm starting to think religion is all just for show—

Because true faith means I must live what I believe. So, if I believe in equality and justice, my actions and attitudes must be guided by truth and fairness. If I believe in second chances in this life, I must be forgiving and gracious. If I believe in love and charity, I must shun selfishness and greed. If I believe in honesty and truth, then I've no business with corruption.

Faith is a way to live. But religion is an overrated "make believe". To which do you subscribe?


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