Fight or Flight?

I skipped walk-jogging for two days last weekend. Lack of sleep caught up with me and I simply forgot. Well, I got into walk-jogging as part of my morning routine, not to lose weight mainly —although that would be a welcome development to boot— but to start a fight.

It's a fight marking a turning point for me. I've been warned of the worsening condition of my congenital heart defect, and needed corrective surgery in the soonest possible time. Stress has taken its toll on my health and I was in a pretty bad shape then. But, having lived through this diagnosis for about five years, I became too complacent. I ignored all warning signals.

I never considered doing exercise or any form of physical discipline to keep fit. I didn't even mind my other bad habits (lack of sleep on top of the list). I procrastinated until—

Ironically, you won't realize the real value of anything until you're suddenly threatened with its loss. That was how I felt. I couldn't dismiss the thought that my life could end too soon if my slack at personal discipline always got the better of me. Ergo, I willed myself to fight for my own life. And in this fight, I may never win, but I will do so very well. . . nonetheless.

This is a battle between time and fate —for all that it means to me now. Time seems to be ticking faster while my fragile strength seems to dwindle with it. But I don't really believe in fate as something that is "predestined", or just a random result of chance. It has more to do about dedication and perseverance; with the quality of a life lived as the end result.

I figure our fate and destiny is our own decision. We've been given the free will to decide and choose how we live our lives. But the freedom to do so doesn't always mean deciding things right all the time. For I could chose to "run away" with bitterness from life's unfairness, but that doesn't change anything for me. Life will still be unfair.

So, I choose to fight instead. . . and face the music.
“The full value of this life can only be got by fighting; the violent take it by storm. And if we have accepted everything we have missed something -- war. This life of ours is a very enjoyable fight, but a very miserable truce.” ~Gilbert Keith Chesterton

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